How I Met Mollie Ivins

A couple months into my freshman year into the legislature, I was just getting comfortable with myself. My legislation filed, staff in place and ,with their help, I getting to know who is important to get to know, befriend and who not to piss off, all to have a good legislative session. (I was getting fewer " bless your heart" moments)

Most of the time, decorum is in place. It is a relaxed time and members at front and back mics discussing legislation. One day while I was standing up by the speakers podium leaning forward speaking to one of the house staff as no action was being heard when I heard the laughter and applause! coming from the gallery. As I turned, I noted Lloyd Criss was holding up the back of my sport coat pointing to my butt!  He then congratulated me with a friendly pat on the shoulder.

It seemed the lady lobbyists had taken a poll on the top ten "Butt Boy's" in the legislature, House and  Senate, and printed a circular and distributed through the Capital and I was the # 1 " "Butt Boy". I didn't know if this good or bad in the eyes of the public, but my ego soared a little. II strutted a little more that week and the speaker didn't seem to mind as he made the list. (As I look back, the list was comprised of mostly old white men, so in hindsight perhaps it was not that much of an impressive list to be on. But, it was at the time fun just the same)

I think it was a couple days later when a controversial bill was being debated and it was getting hotly debated on the back mic. A long line of mostly republicans and a conservative democrat or two with voices raised. They were mostly older members and it went on for quite a while before the bill was sent to committee.

Everyone knew who Molly Ivins was. She was loved or hated by many in that august body. I had not met her but was certainly a little intimidated by her presence in front of the Chamber as I walked by to the front door (the front of the chamber was where the press would button-hole members and ask questions, some they wanted to talk about, some they did not). I was always friendly with the press but was not asked much. I usually just walked by and into the Chamber.

That night,  Miss Ivins wrote a long article about the heated debate  on house floor and one line that "described" it best in the whole article. She wrote, as she looked down at the long line and debate: "It Looked Like An "'Ape to Man Chart" But, you couldn't figure out which way it was  going? 

Funny thing, the next morning, the same voices were raised and furious! about the article. It was my first time to see such a raucus out of mostly older members, most with power member status and chairmen of committees (the members you didn't want to get pissed-off)

It was before the the gavel came down and house called in session, usually a time to get to your desk and chat about yesterdays action an  plan for today's with ample time to organize. 

When I heard "She's coming! and Steve Carriker grabbed me and took me over to front of  a line of democrats with spelling out  "Ape to man" on a  chart! Carriker had put it togther with a long piece of carboard written in bold black  marker. Steve then said, okay,  "Assume! and from the shortest to the tallest "me"... we all took our "Ape" posture in the line from arms dragging to the slowly raising to me... I was standing leg on a chair with arm raised arm muscles and "flexing" in the air as high as I could stretching high up on the chair! 

It was the first time I had ever seen Molly smile as she walked by going to the gallery (she actually had a nice smile!) With some difficulty we tried to maintain that posture as she walked by, and as she passed by me, she leaned in just a bit and in an almost a whisper said "well done" so low I don't think many heard. I had little to do with it, but think I got credit for it because I was in front.

My conversations with her going foward were always pleasant and short. In my six years in the house she only mentioned my name one time in the press, and it was good. I have alway been "grateful" to Steve Carriker! and “butt boy award” as it was his humor and creativity that enabled. (unfortunately, I think I got the same credit from those it offended)

She didn't talk much to members, when she did it was with her pen. And she could cut through the legislatiive BS deftly.